i've got the devil on speed dial !

I'm kind of over it.

If you really really want to keep in touch with me, you can find me on flickr .. http://flickr.com/photos/jrphoto


and if you want my AIM, message me and i'll send it to you.
this buzznet page will be gone in a few weeks.



i also plan on making a blogspot, but i can't come up with a blogname, since every name in the world is already taken. ha.



i guess this is my last journal!
bye!

Kathy Griffin's new CD is out and it's fucking hilarious.

Everyone should buy it. It's worth the $10 !
Plus, it'll get her a possible Grammy nomination ;D





Click here to buy on iTunes.

Click here to buy on Amazon.




DO IT!!!!!!

I don't know -- I feel like I need somewhere to blog. I was thinking of starting my own blog to vent and share photos, but I'm not sure. I feel like I'd be the only reader. Haha

Anyways, summer is here.. whateva. My best friend broke her thigh bone a few weeks ago and I basically have no one to hang out with. It was kind of exciting at first, since I was thinking.. okay that's alright. I'm going to work on being more independent this summer - doing things by myself. & I have been. But I can't help but feel lonely and insecure, you know? I think I might have to get used to it. I mean, I walked around the streets of London for hours alone.. I don't remember feeling lonely. Maybe that's because I didn't know anyone there..... I can't even figure myself out hahaha



I don't give a fuck if it's summer. Lately I've been wearing alot of black and grey. I love it.


I want a DSLR.




I've recently started to bow down to Hedi Slimane. Besides his AMAZING past collections for Dior Homme, he's also a really great photographer. his photos are really inspiring.



I think I'll take more trips to the city this summer. i mean, i don't take advantage of it.



i want to gain so much weight. i really hate being skinny.... i don't think it's attractive at all >< wahteever.


my grandma just called me on the phone and told me to be good like 100 times hahaha. and she said it's "no good" that i'm alone haha.. i'm not 6 years old grandma ;D






okay. this is getting redundant.t

J

Hi, I'm here. I'm aliivvee.

Making some updates; My life has been quite good. I didn't realize that it's good until now that I'm contemplating. I just got a new macbook, FINALLY. I finally have my own laptop. Love it. I got my driver's license. that freedom should be good. This is my car:




It's okay. I wouldn't choose it if I was given a choice but I got it for free because it's my brother's old car.
I'm redecorating my room. Things are crazy right now . so unorganized.. but it's getting there.

tomorrow my sister, brother in law and nephew are coming for a few weeks . it should be really great. i can't wait to see them . specifically my nephew.

less than a month of school left. crazy. teachers have been piling on the work :(

you'll hear from me. mayybee.


-J

It's the first day of Spring! I think this should be a national holiday! It's so optimistic and nice. Love the transition from winter to spring :D



SO tonight I'm going to London for 9 days.. Easter break. Going with the family. Today is my sister's due date!!!!!!! But still no baby. The easter break kind of worked perfectly with the time the baby will be born. I hope that it will be born while I'm there.. it will be a bummer to go home without him being born. Anyways, I'm going with my parents, which should be....fabulous. Traveling with them is always a pain in the ass. but I'm excited to go to London and see Melissa&Stefan&BABY?!?! and plus London is just such a great city. Definitely right under NYC, only because it holds a close place to my heart. i've missed London, it should be really great.

I'll take photos! Actually, I have ALOT of photos that need to be posted but I'll do that sometime (don't know when.) I got them developed with my film and it's a pain in the ass to scan the prints. I'm a procrastinator.

Um, yeah. I don't really know what more to say. Talk to you soon!

PS. I FINALLY got my iTunes working correctly and got the Britney album downloaded.. oh my god it is SO good. ;D


-JoeClouds

So I often get asked what nationality I am. I ask people what THEY think I am, and I've pretty much gotten everything in the book.

So, just wondering.. what do you think I am?? (if you don't already know.)

;D

Okay. Maybe not. I know. I disappeared for about a month. I can't really say a main reason why I was gone. First my computer was having difficulties. Then I finally got it back and just kind of forgot about Buzznet for a bit. Plus, I feel like Buzznet has lost it's touch for me. Bah! I don't know. I guess alot has happened in one whole month.

My school grades slipped.. I failed TWO midterms. I shouldn't have even failed one. Usually I'm an A or B student. Quite frankly, I didn't even care. This year has been so hard emotionally, physically, socially.... My family was so upset.. whatever.

I've gotten closer with an old friend, Eva. Actually, we've become best friends. I realized we have alot in common.. finally someone I can relate to around here. We've been taking trips to NYC lately which is great because I never had anyone to go with. We went yesterday. We wanted to go thrift stores, so we went to Williamsburg. I feel like we inadvertently spend all our time in Williamsburg actually. Anyways, I got a fake toy watch :D and a killer tshirt and jacket. After that, we had lunch at this really good pizza place. Then we decided to go to Caroll Gardens because she met a friend in the city once and he's been begging her to come out and see him. So we took the train there.. what a waste! The guy turned out to be this rude, sexist, homophobic, cross-eyed, pothead, weirdo! I texted her while we were at his place and was like let's bounce. and she texted me back and was like, okay set an alarm and say your mom is calling.. hahaha. so i did and we left. whatever, he made us a nice drink. so we decided to finally go to manhattan haha.. but the F train wasn't running so we had to take the G train back to the L to washington square.. what a bitch. went to the village, walked around.. got pinkberry! then, we went to red mango. hahahaha.. literally right across the street. we wanted to see what the difference was! i can't really say which i like better. red mango is like, real yoghurt, but pinkberry just tastes better haha. so yeah.. walked around a bit more.. then went on the train and went home

today i went to my grandparents in bensonhurst.. was so tired. fell asleep on their couch for a large amount of time hahaha.
tomorrow im going to a party. there's 3 bands playing & like 40 people going.. it's gonna be pretty crazy. this guy i like is gonna be there.. we'll see what happens ;)

all in all, things have been getting better.my mom's been being bitchy lately because i'm actually getting a life. going out, having fun. yeah. she doesn't seem to like that. but whatever. i don't care.

i'll update soon. i just think i needed an entry to explain why i left and what i've been up to.

sorry everyone!
joe

woah.. i've been needing an update.

busy with school lately.. well, i try to do my work. i've been distracted and all. i had a 5 page paper to do. how i cheated: i did 4 pages with 2 lines on the fifth page :X hahaha.. other people did that too so i don't feel so bad.

i went to the cloisters this week [tues] with my art history class. it was great.. romanesque / gothic art =yess. even though most was romanesque.. i love gothic architecture. it was beautiful, took some photos.. they're in the album here. i took some with the lomo lc-a that i bought .. they need to be developed.

today i went to montclair with my parents.. i didn't want to go with my dad but my mom like, invited him, even though i told her not to? ugh, couldn't stand him. montclair was ehh. we saw the college there.. didn't really like it. saw the town.. didn't really like it. i'm soo stressed out because i have no idea where i want to go to school. it's the most important decision i have to make so far.. i didn't think it would be this hard, but it is. i want to go somewhere urban. right now in my life, that's what i like and that's what i want to be surrounded in. it's just, i don't know any good schools or good cities for that matter. i have my heart set on NYU, but i've heard that their photography department isn't that good. so if i don't have NYU as a choice, i have 0 schools. it's stressful and scary. anywayssss...... montclair was okay. they had an urban outfitters there, which was kind of strange. i don't see how it does so well.. probably because it's a college town. so i got jeans, 2 shirts and a hoodie. and my mom fell in love with that store? hahaha.. she got a coat. she's so cute ^^

anywho, january is the month i became a vegetarian 3 years ago!! it's been great. i encourage everyone to do the same. it's not hard at all.. everyone always says, "oh, i could never do that!" i don't wanna hear it. it's hard maybe for the first few months, but after that it's just second nature.

what else? OH i've been obsessed with the 1920's lately?? we're learning about it in history right now, and it's really a great time period. i mean, of coruse it can't be as developed as now, but i think it was such an optimistic time period - if you weren't one of the "traditionalists" as they call them - which still exist today, sadly.. but just the culture of the 20's was amazing! the fashion was great! music was upbeat! so cool. i want a 1920's theme party where everyone can drink bootleg alcohol and listen to jazz music. :D

soo, i just accepted 14 new friends. JEEZ! i haven't been on in a day and that's what i come back to! 14!! give me my buzzmaker already, ;D haha jkk.

so yeah. byeeeee

<3jclouds

Ah, it's 2008! This is my FIRST post of 2008! I'm just getting to write this journal now, because I've been so caught up with other things lately.

New Years Eve was great. My aunt, uncle, and cousin Steph came over. We had a delicious meal of lasagne, lentil soup, salad, and sausage and chicken. but i skipped that. after me and steph went to play wii.. then my aunt came and tried playing bowling.. SHE WAS GOOD! hahaha. then my mom came.. and we just sat around and talked. my brother, dad and uncle were watching the bourne identity, and i wasn't really into that movie. when the ball dropped we all had champagne, which was delicious. uhh after that we had dessert.. it was soo good. we had apple pie which i made with my mom, and oreo cake was which SO GOOD. haha steph was obsessed with it. it was a great way to spend the new year overall. i think it's a great holiday. it has sentimental value.

New Years Day my brother, mom, dad and I went to brooklyn to visit my grandma from my father's side. i hate going there.. it's really depressing because she has alzheimers and her condition is pretty bad. i mean, i go to show my respect. but mostly she's just sleeping so it's kind of boring. so we stayed there for an hour or so and then went to my grandmother from my mother's side. the same aunt, uncle, and cousin were there from new years eve, but now my other cousin matt was there because he couldn't get off for new years. also, of course my grandmother, grandfather and aunt patricia were there. it was nice.. we had stuff shells. and then we walked around bensonhurst.. it's changed so much- it's quite sad, but it's okay. went to rite aid.. got sunflower seeds :] .. after that we went back and just hung out.. i took a nap for an hour or so and left.

I love all this family stuff. i don't know why i've been liking it lately, but i have been. i guess because i never really do much.. i'm always pretty much alone and don't spend time with friends and all. i don't really have many friends to be honest. so i guess it's been great.

my whole vacation was great. i didn't do anything for maybe 3 or 4 of the days, but that's life. i did have fun with melissa & stefan when they were here. and just these family gatherings make me happy lately. even if i don't talk to everyone. just being in their presence was great.

2007 was surely an interesting year. i can't say that overall it was great, but that's natural, right? i laughed, i cried, i was angry, solemn. i made friends, i lost friends. it's all expected right? i hope 2008 will be great! that rhymes! hah! no, seriously though. honestly, i think i want it to pass quickly. i just want to fast forward 2 years of my life. i want independence and living alone.. i hate this age >< .. i want to travel the world and just have fun. i need fun, really. i don't do anything fun. my lfie is kind of boring. anyways, yeah. i just want to go to college or something. i have no idea which college or where.. but i just want it to come quickly.

as far as resolutions goes, i'm not even sure. maybe to take more photos and work harder in school. who knows. what's yours??

ANYWAYS. today was the first day back to school. it didn't hit me until last night at like 11 o'clock. ai realized all the fun is over :[ .. all the festivities and holiday foods, the gatherings, the presents.. now it's the brutal winter.. i hate the period from like.. january to march. it's so bad! well, easter falls in march this year so i'm off school and i'll be going to LONDON AGAIN! [i hope] this time it's for the upcoming baby.. hopefully it'll be born by easter time >< .. i'll be disappointed if it's not born by the time i have to go back to school.

well, i guess this is all.. and it's pretty much all in there. um.. my sister & stefan have been in mexico from the 28th and they're coming back tomorrow to NY, and leaving home for London on Saturday. she says i'll see them before they go back to London.... i sure hope so! because then i won't see them until march!

oh yeah, everyone should listen to M.I.A if you don't already! this sri lankan - british rapper is pretty amazing. i bought her album, kala, from my itunes gift cards i got for xmas and i CAN'T stop listening to it. it's like an addiction. it's soo good. it's like, nothing i've heard before. she's so innovative and i think her beats are amazing.

 <-- LOVE this photo.

 

BBYYEE.

<3JoeClouds

The holidays have kept me so busy lately, and I lovelove it. I've discovered the most important people in my life, and I loved being surrounded by them. I've forgotten my friends and acquaintances from school and I think it's better this way. I feel like I stress out about them way too much.... I get upset because they don't feel the same way about me.. I value friendships more than the other person. Well, now I don't anymore. It's better this way, I think.

Soo, here's how it's been

Sunday Dec 23

Met my sister, Melissa, and my brother in-law, Stefan, in Brooklyn with my mom at my grandparents. It was great seeing them for the first time since London. My sister's stomach is that of a basketball. Hahaha. It's so crazy how much her stomach has gotten in a matter of 4 months or so. We drove back to NJ and they got settled here in our house. Then after, we went to Red Bank to see Juno!!!! It was playing at the cute movie theater that I love. I'm soo glad I saw it. It was SO good! I hope it wins the golden globes, but it's up against Across the Universe -- tough choice. I'll be happy if either win.

Monday Dec 24

Christmas eve eve. Stefan & Melissa had to do last minute shopping.. I didn't have anything to do so I joined them. We went to Wegmans - it was crazy crowded. They got some desserts and wine. Went to the mall and they got some gifts for aunts and grandparents.. probably some other stuff, I just don't remember. went quickly to barnes and noble to get a gift card for my cousin. then we went to panera and ateate. mozzarella & portobello sandwich with southwest rice & bean soup and chips. then we went over to Baby Gap!! they were so excited because it was the first shopping they've done for the baby! baby gap has some cute stuff, gotta say! so they got a few stuff because they had absolutely nothing for the baby. so then we came home.. i was pooped, took a nap. did some wrapping.. then it was christmas eve dinner! it's traditional italian to eat fish on xmas eve, yuck. my mom made fish salad, fettucine with calamari, and also fettucine with clam sauce.. i took the clam sauce. the only seafood i'll eat is clams & mussels.. rest is gross to me :x .. the meal was okay.. not talking about the food. um after eating and talking, we decided to play monopoly. let's just say I KICKED ASS. hahaha. i owned 3 railroads so that charged $100 everytime you landed on one. that's what got me money, i think. that and luck.. i got money from chance, community chest, etc. by the end of the night, stefan was pretty bankrupt, melissa wasn't far behind, and i was rolling in monopoly cash. hahaha. so we stopped the game and decided to pick it up the next morning.

CHRISTMAS DAY - Dec 25

Woke up at like 9:30. my brother and parents were up.. stefan & meliss were sleeping. waited like 10 minutes or so and they woke up. had a nice breakfast of bagels, cookies, etc. it was nice.. umm after that we decided to finish the monopoly game before opening SO many presentssss.. um, i decided that i wanted to open the presents ASAP so i just used all the 500s i had in monopoly to buy hotels and houses.. basically, i had them out quickly. then PRESENTS. i enjoyed giving presents so much better than receiving. i didn't receive anything on the list i posted, but that's because i didn't tell anyone about it hahaha. but i did get some nice thermals, a nice shirt, six feet under dvds, taboo!, and some other stuff. but i think my most favorite gift is.... AN ELEPHANT. that's RIGHT. i got an ELEPHANT for christmas!! okay, let me explain. my sister adopted an elephant in my name. his name is ZURURA and he lives in Kenya, where I want to go! basically, this company emails you updates about your elephant. they send you pictures of it and tell you how it's been. he's only 2 years old and i think he's quite beautiful.... zurura's website isn't working right now :[, but when it works, i'm going to update everyone on buzznet on how he's doing! so yeah, that was pretty major. um, after gifts everyone got ready and we went to staten island to my aunt's. i lovedd it.. dinner was nice, talking to steph my cousin, my aunts, grandparents, brother, melissa & stefan.. it was all great. my dad is a different story.. he was really rude christmas dinner. and actually christmas eve dinner. in the middle of dinner, he'd just get up and leave and watch tv. IN THE MIDDLE OF DINNER. it's really embarrasing. on christmas eve dinner, he left the table, went upstairs, and went to sleep for 2 hours. Whatevvvv. It's better that way. also, we started planning new years eve night at my house. my aunt, cousin steph, uncle john, myself, my mom, my brother, and possibly my dad [we'll see on that grr] i actually wanted to do something on new years because it usually goes like this.. my mom and i are in seperate parts of the house, my brother is at a party, my dad is in brooklyn. at 11:55 my mom comes and asks me to watch the ball drop with her.. we do that.. happy new yearr!!!!!! um, okay bye. hahaha

December 26

nothing much happened during the day. my sister called and told my mom that she's picking up my brother from his job in lower manhattan. then they were going to new brunswick to pick up her friend lydia. she hoped that my mother and i would join her for dinner. she told my mom to make it seem like we're going to drop diamond earrings off for my sister, and pick up my brother in new brunswick. both were true.. it wasn't a lie. she just didn't want my father with us at dinner. i can't say i feel bad. i'd only feel bad if he found out. you just have to understand that no one in the family gets along with my dad. we didn't want him being rude and strange at the resturant.  we went out to eat at an expensive place.. it was a really nice dinner. i had a really great time. after the meal, my sisters friend lydia and her parents, her husband gustavo, and their yorkie daisy met us for a quick chat and then melissa, stefan, lydia, and gustavo took off for the city and my mother, brother and i went home. it was such a nice night. i went home and contemplated it all and realized that the meal was great because i was with the most important people in my life. my father did find out. he wasn't happy. of course he yelled and reprimanded my mother. he continuously tried to make my brother and i feel guilty. that's exactly when i didn't feel bad anymore.. hahah.

December 27 (today)

Today  I went with my mom to the mall to make exchanges/returns. my mom bought me 2 long sleeved thermals at the gap. one of them i just didn't like the color, so i went to exchange it but i found 2 other colors i liked.. so i just got all of them hahaha. i really need long sleeve shirts though.. i have alot of tshirts but no long sleeved. so now i have 4 gap thermals haha. i also got a jacket from heritage 1981.. anyone have this store near them?! it's great and cheap! my mom got me a flannel shirt from there for christmas [because i pointed it out in the store haha] um, i went to exchange a sweater my brother got me because it was way too big, but they didn't have it. so i exchanged it for cable knit sweater because i've been dying for one. it's pretty and red. i also got a button down shirt from there as well. it's pretty and blue. then i found these nike shoes that i now lovelove. i love them because they're a great style and they're not leather/suede. all man made products! i'm so glad i found them! also i got those colorful socks in my last journal haha ;D

ya like?? Came home and watched Lost season 3 with my mom and brother. my mom hasn't seen it, but my brother and i have seen it already. it's such a great show. can't wait until jan 31!!

overall, my life has been great. i haven't been on the computer which usually means i'm occupied with something positive that i don't really need the computer. tomorrow is my sister's birthday, but she's flying to mexico with friends early tomorrow for about a week. she's returning to NY on january 3, spending sometime in the states a bit longer, and then flying home on the 5th. i'll see her when she flies back from mexico.... at least that's what she says.. and i hope!! my life is always exciting when she comes, come to think of it.

i'm looking forward to seeing her again, and new years eve! i'm not looking forward to school though :P .. i have to start working harder this year.. i've been slacking.

 

i'm leaving you with a great artist that everyone should listen to, if you haven't already heard of him. i'm obsessed lately with PATRICK WOLF. i think he's genius. his music is amazing, his voice is amazing, and he knows about 20 instruments. he's attractive, bisexual, and i want to marry him.

 

<3 JoeClouds

Allo Allo. Happy Holidays.

So sorry I haven't been around lately.... I keep thinking YOU NEED TO POST MORE, JOE! but I can't think of anything to post. I have seriously like 5 rolls of film that need to be developed. So I'll definitely get on that. Actually, I also have alot alot of photos from London that I still never uploaded. I have them on my computer now, but I'll wait until I develop my film from London to do that.

This week has been so so hectic. All these teachers assigned tests, quizzes, and general assignments this week because it's the last week before break. So I've been studying and doing work [kind of] I've been slacking lately. I want to get more A's. My brother said he'll pay me if I get straight A's. I can't pass that up! I don't think I'll be able to get it, but I can try.

HHHHOlidays I love it. I love Christmas time, even though I'm like the typical non-religious American. Well, I'm not the typical american i guess. The typical American would say, like, oh yeah I'm christian all the way! But haven't been to church in like 5 years. I'm what you would call.... the anti-christian. Actually, I'm anti-RELIGION. Haha. I don't believe in god. whatever.... I just love Christmas time. I think there needs to be a joyous holiday like this. I do it for the sentiment, not the religion.

My sister is coming tomorrow.... I'll see her sometime this weekend, Christmas eve, and Christmas day. hopefully some days after that too.

We plan to have a photoshoot with her protruding belly :] .. but we're kind of at a loss of ideas of where to take photos. It's way too cold outside and if she wears a jacket, that kind of defeats the purpose of taking pregnancy photos. but i can't think of anywhere interesting to take photos inside. i guess they're always there, you just don't know it unless you go into every single building....which is impossible. any ideas????

i have work to do .. been putting it off. whatever.

<3 JoeClouds

So I'm making a wishlist for the holidays. So here it goes!

Lomo LCA camera.... My mom said no cameras :[ .. I only have a film SLR, a pocket digital, a polaroid and a lomo pop9 .. is that alot?? Haha

Alex + Chloe black octopus necklace.... I've always had a fear of octopus since I was little, I don't know why hahahah

Gap cable-knit cardigan .. I already hinted to my mom that I want this haha

4.0 GB is totally unnecessary, and that is exactly why I want it. Hahaha.. I have 512MB right now and it's definitely not enough. So I figured, GO BIG OR GO HOME!!

American Apparel shag fleece zip hoody in brown.. looks comfy.

These socks from Journeys :D

 

 

the lion king dvd .. :D

 

D R E A M  L I S T

white macbook..... one day I will have you!

canon digital rebel xti .... oooohh!

 

 

Uhh, I know I'm forgetting some stuff but whatever. I'd also like some nice clothes. Simple enough. And they've gotta be warm too. I hate the cold! Oh yeah, I want some sweatpants. :P

 

non-materialistic objects:

boyfriend

best friends, close friends

hapiness with everything in my life

artistic creativity [because i don't feel creative lately ><]

 

John Lennon

October 9, 1940 -- December 8, 1980

 

 

I'm going to keep this short and sweet.

You had so much impact on music and overall the time period in which you reigned. I wish I was alive during this time period to be able to experience all that you accomplished. You were a speaker of peace and your message is still alive today, which is quite amazing. I always wonder what the world would be like today if you were alive.... What you'd be doing right now to stop all the terrible things that occur. I know that you'd be constantly in the spotlight, as you were back then, to try and bring peace and harmony into the world.

I'd say you are definitely a martyr for peace.

The phrase "Rest in Peace" has never been more applicable for you, and I am sure you are.

Click to view my album of John Lennon Photos.

 

<3 JoeClouds

As stated in my last entry, I entered an art show in my school and submitted three photos. Thank you for everyone's opinions and they helped me in deciding which photos to submit.

Here are the photos that I ultimately decided on:

 

Click images to view larger

 

<3 J

I'm entering an art show in my school. I think I'll probably be the only photographer but whatever!

The problem is that I need to submit 3 photos [it's the maximum you can submit] and I CAN'T DECIDE WHICH.

If you love me, you'd go through my photos and tell me which you think are best.

It's easier if you do this through my flickr, though.

www.flickr.com/photos/jrphoto

:D

J

Yes.

I didn't find the need to summarize because it's such a small article

HERE'S the link to the article.

 

 

 

2007 Is Warmest Year Yet for Hemisphere

Buzznet doesn't have a "who i'd like to meet" section like myspace does, so i'm going to make a journal of all the people i'd like to meet.

 

- someone who will change my life and make my life exciting and happy again.

- someone who will take a nap with me.

- someone who will have a full day of watching movies or playing board games

- someone who will sit down with me and read books without the need to talk

- a boyfriend

- a bestfriend

- all different types of people from all walks of life

- some ethnic friends

- maria again

 

 

 

as you can see, i'm not very picky. i enjoy the little things, but it's hard to find interesting people who i can relate to.

i go back to school tomorrow.

i'm dreading it and kind of looking forward to it at the same time. i've had all this drama between a friend and i the past few days so i'm avoiding her.

i'm tired of being depressed and not doing anything. i don't know about the depressed part, but at least tomorrow i'll be doing something. until i come home.

Wow. Things are so crazy right now in my life. My life is normally boring, but now everything's gone mad. I'm not quite sure I'm happy with it either because it's not the good kind of excitement, it's kind of the bad kind.

So basically I'm going to give the short, simplified version of the story. I make it sound so simple, but in reality there's so many things that led up to it. But I don't feel like typing it and you probably don't feel like reading it. Basically, this guy that I really like (still don't know if he's straight or not) somehow found out that I like him. Which is kind of strange because no one told him and he just figured it out on his own.... I didn't do anything to make him believe that I like him, so I'm not sure how he figured it out but he did. He hasn't confronted me about it, he confronted my friend, who didn't really address it much. i'm not even sure how long he's known.. well i guess he's fine with it. i think if he's known for awhile, then he's definitely fine with it. But anyways, it turns out that he doesn't like me he likes one of my GOOD FRIENDS. What luck is that, UGHHHHH. It's really terrible. when I found out my heart just dropped and i felt like my stomach was in my mouth and my intestines were about to come out of my fucking ass. i don't even know what to do. i really don't wanna see them together because it'll hurt me so much. i'm trying to avoid both of them ,actually. i just need a break.

my insomnia caused me to get 1 hour of sleep last night. i get frequent nosebleeds and i can't even eat a proper meal these past 2 days. my health has become a joke.

i think my mother and father are unofficially seperated. i haven't seen or heard from my father in days. my brother didn't come home last night until 3am.

i'm gonna try and go to sleep. usually my insomnia causes me to not be able to sleep at night time so i'm passing out everywhere during the day. i need to take a nap. i have off school tomorrow and friday, thank god. i need to get everything back on track, honestly. i've been exhausted in so many ways. i can't even be creative lately. i think i've temporarily lost my creativity, honestly.

<3 Joe

 

ps. if this entry doesn't qualify for an episode of degrassi, i don't know what will.

Sorry, I need to complain. So I'm writing everything that I'm just plain tired of.

1. School.

2. My town

3. My "friends"

4. My father

5. My uneventful, boring, and waste of a life

6. Being single forever

7. Insomnia

8. Being tired

9. Being in love with someone who will never love you back.

10. Distance

11. Being young and not being able to do things that you want BECAUSE you are young.

12. The people in my school

13. Teachers that give too much school work because they like taking everything out on their students.

14. My mother's selfishness

15. My brother's loserness

16. My sister's high maintenance and micromanaging tendancies

17. Feeling like I don't belong anywhere

18. Feeling like you're not going anywhere

19. SITTING AT HOME AND DOING NOTHING.

20. This damn computer.

21. My house

22. My "friends" who forget about me.

23. A certain friend who's been getting on my nerves lately.

24. You.

 

Yeah, I know this can be so much longer of a list but I spared myself and everyone else.

Lately I've just been wanting to run away. Just get on an airplane and get away to some European city... like Stockholm, Amsterdam, Paris, Rome.... SOMEWHERE! Ugh

My Life: The Soundtrack
Opening Credits::	the cranberries - linger
Average Day::	meredith brooks - bitch
Spending time with friends::	the beatles - with a little help from my friends
Driving::	the beatles - drive my car [cliche]
Bad day::	gary jules - mad world
Fight scene::	the zutons - pressure
Mental breakdown::	the beatles - helter skelter
Life is okay::	petula clark - downtown
Graduation::	rusted root - send me on my way
Longing for love::	the beatles - blackbird
First glance/new crush::	madonna - beautiful stranger
Secret love::	freezepop - stakeout
First date::	the beatles - here comes the sun
Falling in love::	bright eyes - the first day of my life
Love scene::	sigur ros - glosoli
Breaking up::	rufus wainwright - hallelujah
Long night alone::	simon and garfunkel - the sounds of silence
Wishing for love to return::	the beatles - help
Fighting to get him/her back::	spiritualized - any way that you want me
Proposal::	dido - thank you [ambiguous V]
Wedding::	regina spektor - fidelity [ambiguous ^]
Reflecting on life::	smashing pumpkins - disarm
Reflecting on love::	múm - we have a map of the piano
Death scene::	counting crows - colorblind
Closing credits::	coldplay - clocks
Take this survey | Find more surveys Bzoink - The Original Survey Site     It took me forever to do this! I'm not quite sure everything fits in the way I want it to, and there is just so many beatles songs! I think each song fits, but there's always another song that could also be in it's place. But I guess I'm pretty happy with this! I thought it was a pretty cool idea. Everyone should take the quiz! There's a link!